Remember Me, As Vivid As I Was
by April O'Brien
Summary: Neil ignored the look on her face and shook his head. "I need you to promise me that you'll remember me, alright? No matter what happens, you have to remember me." He knew he sounded unreasonable and unnecessarily cold, but it had to be done.


Remember Me; As Vivid As I Was

* * *

An unidentifiable emotion viciously assaulted his insides. It was negative, and that negative emotion slithered through his bloodstream like a foul poison. It was unbelievably overwhelming, it was exhausting, and it was entirely unwanted. All of the negativity was corrupting him, causing him to experience dark thoughts and mild disorientation. Black loneliness seized his heart and injected something poisonous into it, squeezed it without any kind of mercy.

As he let the clouds' tears drench him from head to toe, he tilted his head back and silently pleaded for him to be swept away by the wind's quiet songs. A bitter coldness slammed into him with overwhelming force, almost knocking him right off of his feet. The sound of crickets through the heavy downpour touched his ears and made him cringe. Thunder boomed overhead, imitating the harsh noise of multiple explosions. Lightning flashed across the gloomy sky like a heinous, unyielding whip.

The negativity existing within his bloodstream intensified. His heart gave a bloodcurdling scream. His own tears interacted with the tears from the sky and he was finally dragged down to his knees by an unseen force. The increasing loneliness and unbearable despair clutched at his soul, stabbed at it repeatedly with an invisible dagger, and made his soul bleed. Every time he tried to get rid of it, it came back with much more force. It had no mercy, especially no mercy for him.

He just wanted to go to another place, he just wanted to cease his existence. When he closed his eyes, he could see that heavenly world waiting for him, begging him to inhabit this world that was so out of his reach. It was waiting for him, waiting for him, waiting for him. There was only one way to reach that sacred place and…he had already made up his mind.

He would get rid of himself. Somehow, he would obliterate all of who he was from this reality. Nobody would miss him. Who would? He had no family, he had no friends. There was nobody in this life who cared about him, who _wanted_ him. It was a fact that he had tried to abandon long ago, but that fact always showed up and reminded him of how alone he was every single second, every single minute, every single hour, and every single day.

Before he made the long and solemn journey to his sacred garden that he forever cherished, he wanted to make sure that he was remembered. Yes, he didn't want to exist in this life any longer, but he didn't want to be forgotten. He believed he was an easily forgettable person; no one remembered his face by passing. Even through brief conversations, the people still could not remember who he was. The inhabitants of Echo Village probably would have no memory of him after a few years of his absence. They'd remember him for a little while, but after that, he would be gone from their minds.

The thunder constantly played its horrible music in the sky, competing with the wind's silent songs. The rain became heavier and the clouds' anguish was fully noticeable. It was like the weather intended to reflect his own emotions that evening. He didn't mind that at all, and he definitely didn't mind the lightning flashing every now and then. He welcomed every drop of rain, every flash of lightning, and every rock of thunder.

"Neil!"

Putting his hands in his lap and leisurely lifting his head, he could see one of Echo Village's inhabitants approaching him quickly through the thick rain. When he got a closer look at the person, he recognized it to be Rachel.

Rachel was a well-known figure throughout Echo Village. It was all thanks to her that Echo Village even prospered in the first place. She revitalized the entire village, causing several people to move in. Now, Echo Village wasn't some wasteland in the middle of nowhere. It was a bright and lively place with wonderful people occupying it.

Neil frequently thought that Rachel was incredibly annoying and beautiful at the same time. Her hair was a golden color, like his, and it was very long and straight. It touched her waist and her eyes showed a memorable blue. It always tickled him whenever he witnessed her in her usual overalls getup with her big hat atop her head. Rachel was a good person, he believed, and deserved every bit of respect.

"Neil, what in the world are you doing out in the rain like this?" Rachel questioned him instantly as soon as she reached his form. The young woman bent down to his level, resting her elbows on her knees while giving him a deeply concerned expression. "It's pouring rain out here, you know. You could get sick!"

"Mind your own business," muttered Neil, words choppy and almost incoherent. It was almost time for him to say goodbye to this reality, for him to venture on to the better reality, _his_ reality. "If you have time to talk to me, you should be using that time to get some work done on your farm."

Rachel was aware of how his voice sounded and how the words were broken. The concern on her features intensified and she blinked several times, her blond locks getting wet by the rain. "Neil, what's wrong?" she asked, already knowing something was terribly wrong.

"Nothing's wrong," murmured the frosty individual, climbing to his feet and breathing out a loud sigh. "Nothing's wrong. I just…can you promise me something, Rachel?"

Noticing the seriousness in his voice, an alarmed look jumped onto Rachel's face and she got to her feet, facing him. "Promise you what, Neil?" she queried, wondering what it could be.

"I'm going away for a long time," remarked Neil, shoving his hands into his pockets. He avoided her worried gaze and was determined to do what he had to do. "I won't be back."

"What?" Horror struck Rachel's face.

Neil ignored the look and shook his head. "I need you to promise me that you'll remember me, alright? No matter what happens, you _have_ to remember me." He knew he sounded unreasonable and unnecessarily cold, but it had to be done.

"Okay, but Neil…what's this all about?" Rachel wanted to know, taking a step toward him. "Talk to me. Maybe I can help you. You don't have to leave!"

"I don't need help," muttered the male, partially miffed. "Just remember me, okay?"

Rachel knew she couldn't stop him from doing what he wanted, but she was oblivious to his true intentions. All she believed was that he was leaving Echo Village for a while. "Okay, fine. I'll remember you, but…do you really have to go?" There was sadness in her voice.

"Yeah," answered Neil, digging the heel of his boot into the wet soil below. "I do."

Rachel bit down on her bottom lip and sighed, the rain continuously pouring down on her. "I'll miss you, Neil."

"Yeah, okay." Neil didn't look at her and only kept his head down. His heart started wailing, but he ignored it. He had already made up his mind and he wasn't going to back out on it.

"Be careful, okay?" Rachel said, reaching out a hand toward him and brushing a strand of wet hair out of his eyes in an affectionate manner. Her cheeks colored when she realized what she did and she didn't say anything more about it.

Neil was caught off guard by her sudden action, but he decided not to comment on it. Instead, he briskly walked past her and said over his shoulder, "Remember me; as vivid as I was…"

And then he was gone.


End file.
